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A Note to Slipknot’s Clown, Shawn Crahan – Please stop! Please!

14 June 2009 36 Comments

By: Andrew Bilach

Yes - This is a grown man with children.

Yes - This is a grown man with children.

Darius caught Chickenfoot in Los Angeles a few weeks back and I just listened to an EP by Dirty Little Rabbits. I would have loved to be in the room when both bands settled on those names. I learned of this band because it features Shawn Crahan, a member of Slipknot. Honestly, I don’t know what he does in Slipknot, other than get on stage and act like a complete fool. This is a grown man that does interviews with a baseball bat. Again, this is a grown man that does interviews with a baseball bat. However, I will say that Slipknot gets better with each and every record. Anyway, Simon, the EP by Dirty Little Rabbits is a decent release. They feature a female lead vocalist in Stella “Soleil” Katsoudas, who had a brief brush with fame earlier this century with the hit “Kiss Kiss.” As far as I’m concerned, this is standard fare, but I can see how it would be absorbed by a larger audience. “You Say” is the best track on the release. Check it out.

Dirty Little Rabbits

Dirty Little Rabbits

I’ll be the first to say I’m a fan of Slipknot, so I’m not picking on Crahan. I don’t know him personally nor have I interviewed him. He recently produced a record for a band called Dirtfedd, from Lincoln, Nebraska. If you think you’ve heard the worst record ever released, think again. At some point, a live, breathing human signed this band to a record deal. That human thought Dirtfedd had merit. The titled of their debut, and hopefully last record, is The American Nightmare. I’m going to give you a point of reference. You know those dreams you have where you’re constantly evading death? The ones where you’re about to be murdered, drowned, or suffocated? You’d rather have that dream every night for the rest of your life than listen to Dirtfedd. The worst musician in New York City has more talent in his big toe than Dirtfedd has in the whole band.

I’m not speaking about Crahan the person. Please keep that in mind. All I’m saying is that he has done nothing, and I repeat nothing, in the music business. He adds nothing, and I repeat nothing, to Slipknot. Dirty Little Rabbits are decent at best. His involvement with Dirtfedd is embarrassing. Oh, and does anyone remember To My Surprise? They were just another one of his failed projects. I’m not talking about public perception or sales when I say “failed” – this is just some disgustingly bad music.

My advice to Shawn Crahan would be to stay in Slipknot as long as possible. Keep up the moronic behavior. Convince the kids you’re evil. Enjoy the checks while they last. And in closing, please stop creating other bands, writing music, or thinking you have any credibility outside Slipknot, because you don’t. You’re just along for the ride.

Shawn Crahan

Shawn Crahan

If you’re looking for Crahan-related musical torture, visit the links below.


Dirtfedd MySpace


Dirty Little Rabbits MySpace


To My Surprise MySpace

Again, this was not a personal attack on Crahan, just his music. If you watch the video below, he’s well-spoken and comes off amazing.

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36 Comments »

  • darius said:

    i listened to the first 2 dirtfedd tracks and they were unbelievably horrendous. god awful music. i can’t agree more with this article. crahan’s contributions to slipknot as “Percussionist #2” sometimes means hitting an empty keg of beer with a baseball bat.

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  • Dennis said:

    This was one of Andrew’s more well written articles. It’s awkward in the sense it bashes him musically but almost as if he wants us to like him as a person.

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  • ArchedIsisByleveling said:

    You hit the nail on the head. Get this guy off the main page. You’re giving him too much credit.

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  • hatuespatue said:

    That video is cool. He says that he wants to spend time with his family but then why is he doing all these side projects?

    BTW, this is how you write a review, not like that pile of trash you wrote about MM.

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  • 5150 said:

    He claims he wants to spend more time with his family yet his Slipknot off-time is spend creating this horrid music. He IS “that guy” and we all know it.

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  • 1942 said:

    He is standing to the left in that photo. He looks down syndrome.

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  • Blah said:

    I can agree about the other music, ie: Side bands and Record label.

    But he does do a lot more inside of Slipknot than you are giving him credit for. He sings backing vocal and he’s written a few of their more famous songs.

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  • 3joker said:

    how dare you bash on shawn crahan;he was the one who invented slipknot.

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  • Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    I’m not bashing Shawn Crahan. I’m merely stating the facts.

    All he does in interviews is whine about the toll it takes on his family, so if that’s the case, stop having numerous side projects, art exhibits and whatever else he’s doing.

    Anyone can throw sh*t against the wall, and occasionally, it will stick. Unfortunately, everything outside of Slipknot didn’t even make it to the wall.

    Shawn Crahan is untalented, overrated, and if he “created” Slipknot, than he has to thank the other WONDERFUL musicians and Corey Taylor for his success. Corey Taylor is an amazing vocalist.

    If he left Slipknot, that would mess up their internal dynamic, but none of the fans would care. Trust me.

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  • Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    In regards to Blah:

    Thank you for your post, but I was not going into too much detail on purpose. Sure, he probably does a lot in Slipknot behind the scenes, but he is as overrated as they come. Trust me.

    He is as bad as our show’s audio quality. 🙂

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  • Jon. said:

    FUCK ALL YOU ASSHOLES, Clown is the fucking best. If you all hate the man, then don’t fucking to listen to his music you dumb fucks.
    Clown has more musical talent in one fucking finger, then most of these faggots in this piece of shit music business.

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  • Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    Thank you for your comment, Jon.

    I definitely appreciate you taking the time to comment, but do you care to explain what Clown has down to back up your statement that he has more talent in one finger than most of the other people in the music business?

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  • asdf said:

    Dude dont be a dick to crahan. hes a really good musician and everyone in slipknot has nothing but good things to say about him. Sure, he may want to be with his family, and he does have a lot of side projects, but hes a good man for trying to support his family the best way he can. by making good music. so if youre jus tgoing to talk down about him, then fuck off. and as a fan of slipknot, if he did leave the band, then he would be sorely missed. he gives the band their unique sound with that baseball bat and keg. i believe he is a great musician and should continue what he is doing.

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  • Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    Hi asdf, and thank you very much for your comment.

    I wasn’t trying to be a “dick” to Crahan. Actually, I wasn’t trying to be anything to Crahan. I was only trying to express an opinion.

    Crahan is not set for life financially, but don’t kid yourself, he’s not just “supporting” his family. Slipknot has sold millions of albums. Slipknot has headlined arenas all over the world. He’s not a touring musician playing 500 capacity clubs sleeping on fan’s floors because his band can’t afford a hotel room.

    I do agree, wholeheartedly, that if he left Slipknot, he would be sorely missed. I do believe he is the glue that holds together some of the pieces, and that might be far greater than any of the other members contribute musically.

    He is NOT a great MUSICIAN. He might be a great performer, character, or whatever you want to call him, but he is NOT, and I repeat NOT, a “great” musician.

    Outside of Slipknot, the man has been involved with some of the worst music ever to enter my ears.

    Thank you for writing, and if you’d like to continue this intelligent discussion, feel free to comment again.

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  • Daniel Wootton said:

    Shawn Crahan doesn’t just hit a beer keg with a baseball bat, he plays the side (snare) drum, and has had custom drum racks built for him, AND he plays them. It takes alot of natural rythym to be a good percussionist, (which he is..) attacking his music IS being a dick to him. Tell me, do you play a percussion instrument?

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  • Andrew (author) said:

    @ Daniel Wootton

    Thank you for writing. I don’t play a percussion instrument, although I know many people that do.

    Crahan is an essential part of Slipknot – the brand, but not Slipknot – the band.

    Dirty Little Rabbits? Have you heard that horrid single that just hit the internet?

    The Dirtfedd record?

    To My Surprise?

    All of that stuff is so bad it can’t be defended.

    But, I appreciate your opinion, and thank you for writing.

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  • Nahuel Páez D'Avis said:

    You Sic son of a Pitch!!!, watha Fuck!!! Are you Sayin about Shawn, You Motherfucker Asshole!!!, he is an incredile percisonist and singer you Dick!

    And you Miserable Life!!!!Pitch, you are nothing, enchage Shown is a Perfect Image of Slipknot around the all band career and FOUNDER/PROMOTER of the group (Pitchhh!!!!!) and don’t say anything, ANYTHING about of what he’s doing in Slipknot, he’s the soul of the Band, Who Satrt the PsychoManiac, Chaos, Mandess and Give the Fun and Parte of Life to Slipknot!!!You Fucking Retarded.

    And whattfuck are you sayin about his acts in the stages and interviews, if he want to go uot with the Baseball Bat so let it do what he fucking wants, it’s esencial in the group and his image or what ever, is what he always do and no one says nothing about that!Sucker!!!

    Wath is that about he’s a fool, fool about wayh exactly? about he Image or Things He do? You Fucking Piece of Shiiit!!! Who the hell Are you fot say Sush Thing? It’s a Metal Band!!!!!, you got a 1million of Metal Bands who do everything in satges, life or perfomances, You Ignorant Son Of The Pitch!!!!!!!!!!

    Crahan its like a reverend for all of uss and Predicator od Chaos, who radiates hope and nice words about life to his fans.

    So thing again Before say something aboy somebody Asshole,
    Fuck You and Have a Very Nice Day!!!!1.

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  • Andrew (author) said:

    This is comment of the month. Nothing can top this. Haha!

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  • [RIP] Paul Gray said:

    this is complete and utter bullshit. i understand that you are expressing your oppinion or whatever but we have ours as well. by saying he has no talent, you dont have a way of being right. i believe that shawn is a great contribute to slipknot because he just rocks the fuck out and makes the show worth-while. if you were a true fan, you would also realise that. therefore, you are most likely a poser who feels good inside when you tell people you listen to slipknot because you want to be cool and accepted. well without shawns thrashing, there is no true slipknot. his thrashing completes every song, without it the music would be bare and not as fun to listen to. he is as important as corey. they both put something into the music that no one else can do as well. so if you feel the need to post bullshit like this online, at least know youre not right. technically, no one is. but the way you put it makes you a pompous asshole.

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  • Andrew (author) said:

    @ [RIP} Paul Gray

    RIP Paul Gray. Amen. I was truly saddened to hear the news.

    1. We are all entitled to our opinions. Thank you for acknowledging that.

    2. I recently turned 30 years old. By saying I like Slipknot music, I am not being a poser. Just stating facts. I don’t feel any more, or less accepted, by listening to the band.

    Thank you, man. Feel free to reply or drop me an email at the link below.

    http://allknowingforce.com/wonderful/contact/

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  • steve said:

    you act as if shawn is just an accessory to slipknot, that they have only for entertainment. first off, he is one of the founding members of the band. without him slipknot might not even be around. now that paul is dead, shawn is the only original member of the band left. you think that after all of this time together he didnt contribute a thing to writing any of slipknots work? he just went along with it? im sure he has ALOT to do with the writing process. also without shawn, the band wouldnt have their signature masks, because HE is the one who started wearing the mask and the only person who liked the idea of it. you say that if he left the band the internal dynamics would be messed up but the fans wouldnt care? do you realize that shawn is one of the most popular members of slipknot? or that the fans absolutly love shawn and his crazy stage presece? you are not giving this guy nearly enough credit as he deserves. just because you personally dont like his music, doesnt give you the right to sit here and say that he is a horrible musician and is completly useless to slipknot. thats just ignorant and insulting. just because YOU do not like his music, doesnt mean that other people all over the world dont love it. just because his side projects didnt get as big, doesnt mean its bad music. your expressinf your opinion in a very rude way. you say your not bashing him, but your sitting here saying he is a horrible musician and should not write music ever again. you are being extremely rude about it. i bet you theres another person like you out there who says that jimi hendrix was a terrible musician who didnt contribute a thing to the music world. its all different taste, opinions, and preferences. you are just expressing your opinion like an a**hole.

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  • Andrew (author) said:

    @ steve: Thank you very much for your comment. I appreciate your opinion. After reading your comment, as well as the comments of others, I will post an update to this article within 24 hours.

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  • Kellie said:

    I enjoy the fact that in the comments the author is completely rewriting what he said.
    Face it dude, you fucked up. There’s no need to “express your opinion” in a douchebaggy way.

    Oh and as for Clown just being “along for the ride” he’s one of the founding members and it was his idea to wear masks in the first place.

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  • Void217 said:

    Okay, let’s just start with the fact that Micheal Shawn Crahan aka Clown is not just along for the ride. He is the last original member of Slipknot and the artist behind the masks and videos. He’s not just the guy that said they should wear the masks. He designs them. He’s a percussionist, a backing vocalist, and he also wrote the original draft of “Tattered & Torn”, which appeared on the band’s early demo, Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. He’s the visionary and founding member of Slipknot. He also acted as director for, and assembled Slipknot’s 2006 DVD, Voliminal: Inside the Nine. As far as the band “To My Surprise” goes, he recorded drums and vocals for the band’s self-titled debut. Not (I repeat NOT) founded them. He performed as a drummer for “dirty Little Rabbits”. Crahan has done some “GREAT” work with groups like “Suicide Silence” where he contributed to a remix for their song – Wake Up (Shawn “Clown” Crahan Remix), which you can find on youtube, “Escape the Fate” where again he contributed to a remix of their song called – This War Is Ours (The Guillotine Part II). He is the director of many of Slipknot’s videos, dvds, and other artistic projects. If you don’t like these music groups and the remixes he has CONTRIBUTED to, then you don’t belong listening to any type of metal, ever. Bring Me the Horizon and Suicide Silence are both GREAT bands. He carries a bat with him because it’s an image. IT’S PART OF THE ACT OF BEING SLIPKNOT! Seriously, do you know anything about the music industry, or are you just trying to find some way to fill a void in your life?? Yeah, I’ll admit that not every band that Crahan has CONTRIBUTED to has been great. No one gets everything right. The man has talent in other areas too. For instance, I bet you didn’t know that he does acrylic on canvas paintings. He’s no Chet Zar or Dave Mckean, but he can still paint. There are some things he has founded however such as, “Big Orange Clown Records”, a vanity label within Sanctuary Records and Slipknot for example..

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  • Void217 said:

    Oh, and before I forget. In 2000 he produced Mudvayne’s L.D. 50 album, In 2001 he CONTRIBUTED to 40 Below Summer’s Invitation to the Dance album, and in 2005 – 2006 <–(one of the two) he CONTRIBUTED to Gizmachi's The Imbuing album.

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  • ALL KNOWING FORCE: Darius said:

    @Void217:

    thank you for the biography on Clown. whether he was just a contributor or not, he put his name on some pretty terrible music over the last few years. Dirtfedd is almost offensive to listen to. and Suicide Silence?!? that band is TERRIBLE.

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  • Void217 said:

    @Darius

    I’ll give you the dirtfedd crap, but Suicide Silence, are you kidding me?? What are you basing your information on?? Let me guess, your bias opinion. Never mind that anyways. I’m not going to get into a debate with someone over music. I’m going to guess (Darius) that you listen to either hip hop, country or pop or something. Listen, my “biography” wasn’t even directed at you. I was responding to “Andrew”. Pay attention to this as a whole, not in part. The topics are weather or not Crahan did anything in the slipknot group, and how “crappy” he may or may not be as a musician. He did put his name on other music, but not all of it was bad. Mudvayne, Slipknot, Bring Me The Horizon, Escape The Fate, and yes Suicide Silence were all really good bands. He also put his name on “Stone Sour’s” Label. Stone Sour sucks, yes. That doesn’t make him a bad musician, it just means he took a chance on a music group that happened to fail. You hear about music groups all the time that come into the spot and quickly fade out again. They didn’t have what it takes. Does that mean we should blame their failure on the people that took a chance on them and tried to get them signed!?! NO! Mudvayne, Slipknot, Bring Me The Horizon, Escape The Fate, and Suicide Silence (contrary to your bias opinion) were and are successful groups. Key word being “Successful”. That doesn’t mean, “Liked by you”. No one cares if you like Suicide Silence. Other people out there do. Which means that they are at least good. I won’t say great because that is my opinion. They are all still around though and they sell their music.

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  • ALL KNOWING FORCE: Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    @Void217: I know Darius well, and while there is some hip hop and country music he entertains, I wouldn’t call him a fan of either genre.

    Whether or not Stone Sour sucks is, obviously, subjective. However, they have not failed. If you’re saying, in plain text, that Stone Sour failed, you’re exposing potential ignorance.

    If I’m not mistaken, Crahan was not the lead producer of Mudvayne’s debut record. And also, if I’m not mistaken, he never worked in a producer role for the band again. If Crahan was such a talent, why wasn’t he back for round two? As far as I know, he wasn’t. Please answer me that.

    As far as what Crahan did with Bring Me The Horizon and Suicide Silence, he basically “had a cup of coffee with them.” It wasn’t relevant enough, nor a large enough contribution to include that in an argument. I didn’t know he worked with Escape The Fate, who I’m large unfamiliar with at the moment.

    In this article, and the article I wrote the other day, I was touching on projects where Crahan was a main contributor, or the main contributor. All of them are terrible. If Crahan ever sat went to lunch with Ozzy or sent a text to Robert Plant, are you going to grasp at straws and use that to legitimize him as a musician? The guy is terrible.

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  • ALL KNOWING FORCE: Darius said:

    @Void217:

    the fact that you deem Stone Sour as failures, while at the same time you consider Escape the Fate & Suicide Silence as success stories, already proves to me that it’s not worth discussing this with you, as you don’t know what you’re talking about.

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  • Void217 said:

    @ALL KNOWING FORCE: Andrew Bilach: @ALL KNOWING FORCE: Darius: Actually, Andrew, you and your friend both have claimed that I have in some way stated that Stone Sour has failed. I wasn’t sure where you read that, so I went back and looked. Sure enough, I never said that. I never even said that it was my opinion that they have failed or are failures. I know a lot of people that like them. What I had stated was that they suck. Clearly, Andrew, this is subjective as you said.

    Now, as far as Mudvayne goes, he did produce the album L.D.50. It’s understandable that no one knows everything. You can look it up if you want. L.D. 50 was co-produced by Mudvayne & executive produced by Steve Richards & Slipknot member Shawn “Clown” Crahan. So I would have to say yes, you are mistaken.

    I’m pretty sure he wasn’t back for round 2 for the same reason he didn’t come back for most of the rest of them. He helps people get noticed from what I understand. He “PRODUCES” these groups and apparently sometimes does other work with them. He does NOT create them.

    I don’t need to grab at straws. Even without those two pieces taken out of everything I said, it makes no difference. Escape The Fate is a newer Grunge core/ metal group that Crahan “produced” a debut album for. Again, he was not back for a second round because they made it. Let me just say that, when I say they made it, I don’t mean that you and your friend do or will like them. Most of my friends like them and Suicide Silence. Most of my friends like Stone Sour. I personally like Metal and Screamo. Nothing softer.

    So, To Darius. I never claimed that Escape the Fate & Suicide Silence as success stories, and that Stone Sour were failures. What I said was that Escape the Fate & Suicide Silence are good bands and that Stone Sour sucks. This, as I said before, is an opinion of mine. Stone sour is something my 5 year old niece or my 6 year old nephew would listen to. Hell, even my mom, my aunts and my uncles listens to stone sour. NOOO thank you!!!!

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  • ALL KNOWING FORCE: Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    @Void217: In an earlier post, you equated me not knowing why Crahan carries around a bat to not knowing anything about the music industry. That’s comical. Priceless analogy. Music 101. “Do you know how or why Shawn Crahan carries a bat?” Again, priceless.

    As far as your musical taste, to each his own. There isn’t anything wrong with liking metal and screamo, as I listen to a lot of heavy stuff. But, to dismiss Stone Sour because of who listens to them is ridiculous. Have you ever seen the shape of some of the people that listen to those screamo bands? Come on. Let’s be real.

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  • Mike said:

    I know this is an old post. But the “bad” on dirtfedds record is 90% from the production and engineering of the album. the band is very good live. there drummer is amazing. the vocals on the album sound nothing at all like they do live. so in this aspect, i blame clown for allowing an engineer to butcher the vocal tracks, as well as the band for not speaking up and saying something about this. anyone who knows anything about audio engineering or mastering can see how obvious it is that the bad sound quality here has nothing to do with the artist. I myself am an audio engineer and would love to have the original multi tracks from this album to re master them.

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  • mike said:

    wow do any of you even know what a producer in the music industry even does?? because 90% of the time. they have nothing to do with the sound of the album. they simply are the connection between the artists and engineers to the record label to ensure things are done within budget and on time, as well as picking the studio, things of that nature. so give the audio engineer the credit for an albums sound, not some guy in mask using his name to push records. also like to add escape the fate is kind of a success story. i don’t like there new singer yet there new album sold 20,000 copies in its 1st week. how many albums have you sold?

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  • ALL KNOWING FORCE: Andrew Bilach (author) said:

    mike,

    As you mentioned, this is an old article. It’s approaching its third birthday.

    At the end of the day, the Dirtfedd album is not good. The article did not attack them. Their poor album and the fact Crahan’s name was all over it (media, etc) was used to prove the point of the piece.

    Outside of Slipknot, his name is on some horrible, horrible, horrible projects.

    I do appreciate your opinions. If Dirtfedd is great live, all the power to them. That album, though, is not good enough. I don’t see how anyone could argue otherwise.

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  • Ramon said:

    Andrew Bilach,

    You hate something that gives a lot of taste to Slipknot. Once they adopted their characters, they have to play them. He’s only acting up on the stage. And he does it good.

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  • Ramon said:

    Ramon,

    Hendrix set his guitar on fire, Townshend recklessly broke his guitar on pieces, Axl changes his clothes in every live track (or he used to change). All of composures above was unnecessary, and doesn’t improve their musics, but that’s cool, doesn’t it?

    He don’t act like that because he’s retarded. You might not like it, but a lot of people do. Up there, he’s not Michael Shawn Crahan, he is #6. He is the CLOWN!

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